Do you scorn all St Andrews students? Do Manchester students make you mad? Does Exeter annoy you no end? Now’s your opportunity to let your loathing be known! Vote now for the UK uni with the most annoying students.
Read through the nominees, then vote at the end for which students irritate you the most. You’re welcome to suggest a different UK uni at the bottom of the poll if you can think of some even more annoying students. Then we’ll officially name and shame the winner.
University of Cambridge
It even looks gloomy with Christmas lights
There is one proper club in Cambridge and it’s a 40 minute walk from where most of the colleges are. Cambridge students have nothing to do but work, so they genuinely start believing the whole world revolves around their weekly supervisions.
Sleep? Food? Other people’s time? Politics? The entire world? Surely none of it is as important as the wording of the third paragraph of your essay on ancient Nordic pottery shards!
Durham University
Stop trying to make ‘Doxbridge’ happen
Durham combines the worst traits of so many other Russell Group unis. The poshness of Exetaaaah. The arrogance of Oxbridge. The delulu-ness of St Andrews. Plus, don’t you just want to scream when a Durham student tries to gaslight you that “Doxbridge” is a thing?
University of Edinburgh
Fine, it looks okay
Every Edinburgh student I’ve met is convinced they’re the long-lost child of Paul Mescal and Sylvia Plath. There are objectively too many art shows and student plays without the talent to back them up.
I’m pretty certain students pick Edinburgh because they calculate it’s the coldest Russell Group uni, therefore they can wear trench coats and skinny scarves and drink pumpkin-spiced lattes for a higher percentage of the year. Edinburgh isn’t cool, it’s just cold.
University of Exeter
My worst nightmare: 100s of Exeter students
Sorry, University of Exetaaaaaah. You don’t need good A-Levels to get into Exeter, you just need a horse. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that all Exetaaaah students are posh and obnoxious and play lacrosse on horseback at ski chalets. Really – it’s the whitest Russell Group uni and one of the unis with the most private school students in the country.
King’s College London
You like Lana Del Rey. We get it.
Someone’s got to break it to King’s students that they’re not actually quirky cultural trailblazers. Actually, King’s is one of the most popular Russell Group unis. 69,300 applied there in 2023. So, picking King’s is basic.
London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE)
I couldn’t find a pic of LSE students having fun
Look, I’m sure there are plenty of LSE students who aren’t soulless corporate sell-outs. I’ve just never met them.
University of Manchester
The embodiment of chaos
I feel like “Manchester student” is the UK tabloids’ equivalent of “Florida man”. “Manchester student arrested after turning house into Taco Bell themed strip poker nightclub”. “Manchester student caught selling glow-in-the-dark vodka to underage alligators at a Christmas party in Norway”. “Manchester student faces criminal charges for wrapping party boats with bubble wrap and pastry”. I’d believe anything about them at this point.
University of Oxford
We get it, your library is famous
Topping literally every university ranking just isn’t good for Oxford students’ egos. If their heads get any bigger then they won’t be able to fit through all the medieval iron gates.
University of St Andrews
St Andrews is such a mystery to me. I don’t understand why they keep doing so well in university league tables, or why anyone would want to go to uni in a city smaller than most Costas. Seriously, Google Maps says you can walk across the widest possible diameter of the city in 49 minutes.
Evidence
I’m convinced all St Andrews students grow up less quickly than other teenagers because they just see far less of the world than everyone else does.
