More people are coming out as Aegosexual – here’s what it means

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As conversations about sexuality become increasingly complex, so too does the terminology employed to articulate them. A term currently gaining prominence is aegosexual, which refers to an “identity-less” experience characterized by a sense of “disconnection.”

Given that gender and sexuality have become integral to daily discourse, it is unsurprising that an expanding array of new labels is permeating mainstream culture.

Aegosexuality, which falls within the asexual spectrum, pertains to individuals who experience arousal or desire without the inclination to partake in sexual activities.

Fundamentally, this identity revolves around a disconnection between the experience of attraction and the desire to act upon it.

‘Disconnection’

The notion was initially presented in 2012 by Canadian psychologist and sexologist Anthony Bogaert, who originally termed it “autochorissexualism.” Bogaert characterized the experience as an “identity-less sexuality,” defined by a disconnection between one’s self-perception and a sexual object or target.

In practical terms, an individual identifying as aegosexual may find pleasure in sexual thoughts, fantasies, or erotic content, yet feel a sense of detachment from the notion of personal involvement. The attraction is present, but the desire for active participation is absent.

Mental disorder

Nonetheless, Bogaert’s initial categorization positioned autochorissexualism within the realm of “paraphilia.”

Paraphilia refers to a concept that denotes a profound sexual attraction to unconventional objects or actions and, as stated by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), may be regarded as a mental health disorder.

Indeed, the APA clarified that paraphilic disorders – some of which “inflict psychological distress, harm, or fatality” upon “non-consenting individuals” – encompass voyeuristic disorder, sexual masochism disorder, sexual sadism disorder, and pedophilic disorder.

Certain research even indicates that specific paraphilic disorders, especially pedophilic disorder, are “simply unresolvable,” and can only be treated through “incarceration.”

Misunderstood

This initial classification has been widely contested since its inception. Proponents and scholars contend that aegosexuality represents a sexual identity within the asexual spectrum, rather than being classified as a mental disorder, and that its original categorization has contributed to enduring stigma.

When the concept was first introduced, asexuality itself was often misinterpreted, as explained by clinical sexologist Dr. Elyssa Helfer. Consequently, identities linked to asexuality were often misrepresented or pathologized.

Although awareness of various sexual orientations has increased over the years, stigma has not completely vanished – especially as earlier classifications continue to influence public perception.

A common misconception is that aegosexuality equates to voyeurism; however, experts emphasize that the two are not the same.

Voyeurism, which is frequently regarded as a fetish or kink, generally involves obtaining sexual pleasure from observing others, often without their awareness.

In contrast, aegosexuality is recognized as a sexual identity. Helfer notes that the primary distinction lies in participation versus fantasy. Aegosexual individuals may feel arousal or have fantasies involving others, yet they do not possess the desire to participate directly in those experiences.

‘Removed from the reality’

Numerous individuals identifying as aegosexual have sought refuge in online forums to articulate their feelings of disconnection in real life, with their narratives frequently highlighting the distinction between the ‘self and the subject of arousal.’

“For me, this signifies that I am never the one engaging in the daydreams or scenarios I contemplate. I may be ‘viewing’ events from a first-person viewpoint, yet it is as a character rather than as my true self,” a Reddit user expressed. “I am never genuinely involved, not as my authentic self. This illustrates the disconnect between the self and the subject of arousal. I find enjoyment in the concept of a situation, but only as long as I remain detached from its ‘reality.’”

A second individual articulated the boundary even more explicitly: “You find erotic material arousing and derive pleasure from that arousal, but it ceases to be erotic the instant you are incorporated into the material. Thus, you may fantasize about two characters engaging in sexual activity, and that excites you, but the same scenario involving yourself loses its erotic appeal.”

Another user elaborated, stating, “The fantasies are rendered highly unrealistic, as the introduction of realistic elements would diminish or negate their appeal.”

For many, simply possessing terminology that accurately conveys their feelings holds significant value. In a context where labels are continually evolving, aegosexuality provides a means to articulate attraction without participation, desire without action, and arousal without involvement.

What are your thoughts regarding the various labels that describe sexuality? We invite you to share your opinions and subsequently disseminate this story so we can gather insights from others!

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