Audiences everywhere dreamed of being in Debra Winger’s shoes when Officer Zack Mayo swept factory worker Paula off her feet in one of the most memorable romantic moments in film history.
That unforgettable scene from An Officer and a Gentleman, where Richard Gere’s character in his crisp naval uniform carries Winger’s Paula away, became a benchmark for cinematic romance.
Many envied Winger—not only for her beauty, but also for starring alongside some of Hollywood’s most handsome leading men.
Now 69, Winger still exudes grace and charm. Over the years, she’s posted photos on Instagram, revealing her natural transition from rich brown hair to flowing gray waves.
Her breakout came in the late 1970s, with an early role as Drusilla—the younger sister of Diana Prince/Wonder Woman—in the hit TV show Wonder Woman (1979). But after a few appearances, she declined to continue, fearing she’d be typecast.
That decision didn’t hinder her rise. In fact, the early ’80s marked the peak of her stardom.
Winger earned critical acclaim, including multiple Oscar and Golden Globe nominations, for starring in a string of iconic films during that decade.
She joined John Travolta in Urban Cowboy (1980), shortly after his success in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1978). She captivated audiences again in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) and delivered a powerful performance in Terms of Endearment (1983), playing Emma, a young woman battling illness and a controlling mother, portrayed by Shirley MacLaine.
Despite her success, Winger took a step back from acting—and decades later, speculation still swirls around her decision to retreat from the spotlight.
Much of the gossip has focused on Winger’s alleged friction with colleagues.
While fans adored the on-screen chemistry between Winger and Gere, reports suggest that things were far from harmonious behind the scenes.
Louis Gossett Jr., who played Sgt. Emil Foley in the same film, wrote in his memoir An Actor and a Gentleman—as highlighted by ABC News—that although the two lit up the screen together, they kept their distance off-camera. Winger reportedly criticized Gere’s acting, calling him a “brick wall,” and didn’t hold back her dislike for director Taylor Hackford, whom she once referred to as “an animal.”
But tensions extended beyond just that project.
Her dynamic with Shirley MacLaine on Terms of Endearment was also strained. MacLaine recalled their first meeting in People, noting how starkly different they were—MacLaine dressed in extravagant furs to embody her character, while Winger showed up in a miniskirt and combat boots.
Their interactions became the stuff of Hollywood legend. Rumors flew that they fought for top billing—and even that a physical altercation occurred. Both were nominated for Best Actress at the Oscars that year, and when MacLaine took home the award, she famously declared, “I deserve this!”
Still, Winger has repeatedly stated that her departure from acting was driven by personal reasons—not professional drama.
“I just wasn’t inspired by the roles coming my way,” Winger told People. “I’d either experienced them already or didn’t feel challenged. Life itself was pushing me more than work was, and I gave myself over to that.”
Following her role in the 1995 rom-com Forget Paris with Billy Crystal, Winger took a six-year break. She relocated to New York and shifted her focus to her personal life, including her relationship with actor Arliss Howard, whom she married in 1996. Together, they have a son, Gideon Babe (born in 1997), and she also became stepmother to Howard’s son, Sam. Her first son, Noah Hutton, was from her previous marriage to actor Timothy Hutton (1986–1990).
In 2001, Howard directed and starred alongside Winger and Rosanna Arquette in Big Bad Love. The following year, Winger was the subject of Arquette’s documentary Searching for Debra Winger, which explored why she chose to walk away at the height of her career.
Winger’s return to film included notable roles in Rachel Getting Married (2008) opposite Anne Hathaway, The Lovers (2017), and the quirky crime film Kajillionaire (2020).
She also appeared in With/In: Volume 2, a 2021 anthology film, in a segment titled Her Own, which was directed and co-starred by her husband.
Today, Winger doesn’t place much stock in the idea of “Hollywood.” As she once said, “I don’t even know what Hollywood is. I live right under the damn sign and just laugh at it. It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”
We can only hope Debra Winger gets the recognition she still deserves. What’s your favorite Debra Winger performance?
