The certified psychosexologist has shared why she thinks couples lose their spark in between the sheets
A relationships has weighed in on why couples may lose their spark in the bedroom over time.
It’s an age-old problem with the majority of relationships – why does intimacy slow down as you start to settle down more?
Some attribute it to people’s careers and lifestyles taking over, while others think that relationships as a whole will lose that fire after the first few months together, known as ‘the honeymoon period’.
Well, we won’t need to theorise much more as a sex and relationships expert has explained exactly why it happens nowadays.
A slump in the bedroom can be explained, says this expert (Getty Stock Photo)
Dr. Karen Gurney, who has also appeared on Diary of a CEO, was a guest on TikTok user @therapyjeff’s Problem Solved podcast, and discussed all things sex: from what to do when sexual libidos don’t match up to why couples stop sleeping with each other.
Gurney is an author, while also being a clinical psychologist and a certified psychosexologist.
More or less a sex guru, she began to explain that it all boils down to ‘a culture of low sexual currency,’ but what does this entail?
She went on: “We’re not relating to each other as sexually at all throughout the week or month, it’s all ‘put the bins out’ and ‘have you bought the milk?’ and then it’s high stakes when someone initiates so it feels like it really matters,” she said.
Describing it as a high pressure situation, Gurney highlighted that pressure is a huge desire killer, ending up with both people ‘feeling awkward’.
@therapyjeff Listen to this week’s episode of Problem Solved for more tips on boosting your s3x life! #mentalhealth #therapy #relationshiptips #dating #datingadvice ♬ original sound – TherapyJeff
This results in the sex not going as well or being as enjoyable, which is why the expert highlighted that we need ‘high levels of sexual currency,’ instead.
She highlighted: “So, relating to each other like we did at the beginning – the flirting, the texts, the eye gazing, (saying) ‘you look super hot in that Radiohead t-shirt’, all of that stuff.”
So basically, you need to integrate some of that heat you had in your honeymoon phase, back into your relationships even though you may be months or years down the line.
And apparently, you’ll reap the rewards.
If you reintroduce some aspects of your early relationship, it could work a treat (Getty Stock Photo)
Gurney continued with what else you can do: “The spending time being naked together, maybe you used to hang out in bed on a Sunday morning and just have coffee and touch each other’s bodies, maybe you don’t do that anymore.”
She explained that these are all ‘low pressure’ situations that can result in intimacy, as this is where desire emerges and with long-term relationships, she said that ‘often, sexual currency dwindles’.
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Photos
