Former youth pastor’s suicide note revealed after he died in his cell awaiting trial for pushing his wife off a cliff 20 years ago.
The suicide note left by a former Las Vegas youth pastor who died in his jail cell while awaiting trial for his wife’s death has been revealed. The letter offers a chilling window into the mind of a man who insisted he was innocent while acknowledging he would almost certainly be convicted.
David Vander Meer, 47, was arrested in June 2026 and booked into Clark County Detention Center, awaiting extradition to Utah to face murder charges over the 2006 death of his wife Bernadette.
Just two days after his arrest, he was found unresponsive in his cell. He was rushed to hospital but died the following day. Sheriff Kevin McMahill said he had strangled himself “in a unique and novel way.”
A letter and will were found near his body.
Vander Meer never thought legal action would’ve left to an arrest
In the note, Vander Meer maintained his innocence while laying out with cold clarity why he had chosen not to fight the charges.
“I didn’t kill her,” he wrote. “I was never afraid of legal action because I didn’t kill her, and I never thought it would lead to an arrest.”
But he did acknowledged the evidence against him told a different story.
“The additional allegations I have heard about are largely false, but not entirely. They paint a picture that can’t be escaped. They spell conviction.”
He continued: “I was naive to think that just because I didn’t kill Bernadette that there would be no problem with the charges. Reports of the affidavit contain small amounts of truth, but paint a picture I will probably not be able to overcome.”
He signed the note simply: “David.”
Vander Meer was grooming minors
Bernadette Vander Meer fell more than 1,000 feet from the Angels Landing trail at Utah’s Zion National Park on August 22, 2006, the day after the couple had visited to celebrate their wedding anniversary.
She was 29 at the time and her death was initially ruled accidental due to limited evidence, though investigators noted the circumstances were suspicious.
The case lay dormant for over 15 years until 2022, when police received a tip from a youth group member claiming Vander Meer had been grooming minors. The investigation that followed uncovered a darker picture.
Court documents revealed that months before Bernadette’s death, Vander Meer had taken out life insurance policies on her worth $550,000 each. After she died he collected $567,439 and used it to live lavishly.
He had also allegedly been having a sexual affair with a 16-year-old girl, reportedly telling her they could only be together if his wife were “not alive.” Bernadette had reportedly grown suspicious of his infidelity in the year before her death.
Vander Meer later married the woman he had been having the affair with. They divorced in 2014. Charges were finally filed against him in 2026 after his former boss told police he believed Vander Meer had pushed his wife off the cliff.
He was also charged with insurance fraud. A review into the circumstances of his death in custody is underway.
